By definition, self-esteem is the way in which an individual perceives herself-in other words, her own thoughts and feelings about herself and her ability to achieve in ways that are important to her.
This self-esteem is shaped not only by a child's own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life-how she is thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. The closer her perceived self (how she sees herself) comes to her ideal self (how she would like to be), the higher her self-esteem.
For healthy self-esteem, children need to develop or acquire some or all of the following characteristics:
根据定义，自尊是人们感知自己的方式 - 换句话说，她自己对自己的想法和感受以及她以对她重要的方式实现的能力。 这种自尊不仅受到孩子自身的感知和期望的影响，还受到她生命中重要人物的感知和期望的影响 - 她是如何被父母，老师和朋友所思考和对待的。 她认识到的自我（她如何看待自己）越接近理想的自我（她想成为怎样），她的自尊心就越高。
A sense of security安全感
Your child must feel secure about herself and her future. ("What will become of me?")
A sense of belonging 归属感
Your youngster needs to feel accepted and loved by others, beginning with the family and then extending to groups such as friends, schoolmates, sports teams, a church or temple and even a neighborhood or community. Without this acceptance or group identity, she may feel rejected, lonely, and adrift without a "home," "family" or "group."
A sense of purpose目标感
Your child should have goals that give her purpose and direction and an avenue for channeling her energy toward achievement and self-expression. If she lacks a sense of purpose, she may feel bored, aimless, even resentful at being pushed in certain directions by you or others.
A sense of personal competence and pride个人能力和自豪感
Your child should feel confident in her ability to meet the challenges in her life. This sense of personal power evolves from having successful life experiences in solving problems independently, being creative and getting results for her efforts. Setting appropriate expectations, not too low and not too high, is critical to developing competence and confidence. If you are overprotecting her, and if she is too dependent on you, or if expectations are so high she never succeeds, she may feel powerless and incapable of controlling the circumstances in her life.
您的孩子应该对自己应对生活挑战的能力充满信心。 这种个人能力的感觉源于在独立解决问题，创造性和为她的努力取得成果方面取得成功的生活经验。 设定适当的期望，不是太低而不是太高，对培养能力和信心至关重要。 如果你过度保护她，如果她过于依赖你，或者如果期望如此高，她永远不会成功，她可能会感到无能为力，无法控制她生活中的环境。
A sense of trust信任感
Your child needs to feel trust in you and in herself. Toward this goal, you should keep promises, be supportive and give your child opportunities to be trustworthy. This means believing your child, and treating her as an honest person.
您的孩子需要对您和她自己感到信任。 为了实现这一目标，您应该信守承诺，支持并为您的孩子提供值得信赖的机会。 这意味着相信您的孩子，并将她视为诚实的人。
A sense of responsibility责任感
Give your child a chance to show what she is capable of doing. Allow her to take on tasks without being checked on all the time. This shows trust on your part, a sort of "letting go" with a sense of faith.
让您的孩子有机会展示她的能力。 允许她在不经常被督促的情况下承担任务。 这表明了你的信任，一种带有信任感的“放手”。
A sense of contribution贡献感
Your child will develop a sense of importance and commitment if you give her opportunities to participate and contribute in a meaningful way to an activity. Let her know that she really counts.
A sense of making real choices and decisions做出真正的选择和决定的感觉
Your child will feel empowered and in control of events when she is able to make or influence decisions that she considers important. These choices and decisions need to be appropriate for her age and abilities, and for the family's values.
A sense of self-discipline and self-control自律和自控
As your child is striving to achieve and gain more independence, she needs and wants to feel that she can make it on her own. Once you give her expectations, guidelines, and opportunities in which to test herself, she can reflect, reason, problem-solve and consider the consequences of the actions she may choose. This kind of self-awareness is critical for her future growth.
当您的孩子努力实现并获得更多的独立性时，她需要并且想要感觉自己能够独立完成。 一旦你给出了她自己的期望，指导和机会，她就可以反思，推理，解决问题并考虑她可能选择的行为的后果。 这种自我意识对她未来的成长至关重要。
A sense of encouragement, support and reward一种鼓励，支持和奖励的感觉
Not only does your child need to achieve, but she also needs positive feedback and recognition - a real message that she is doing well, pleasing others and "making it." Encourage and praise her, not only for achieving a set goal but also for her efforts, and for even small increments of change and improvement. ("I like the way you waited for your turn," "Good try; you're working harder," "Good girl!") Give her feedback as soon as possible to reinforce her self-esteem and to help her connect your comments to the activity involved.
您的孩子不仅需要实现，而且还需要积极的反馈和认可 - 这是一个真实的信息，表明她做得很好，让别人感到高兴，并且“做到了”。 鼓励和赞美她，不仅是为了实现既定的目标，也是为了她的努力，甚至是小幅度的改变和改进。 （“我喜欢你等待轮到你的方式”，“好的尝试;你正在努力工作”，“好女孩！”）尽快给她反馈，以增强她的自尊心，并帮助她将你的评论联系起来 涉及的活动。
A sense of accepting mistakes and failure接受错误和失败的感觉
Your child needs to feel comfortable, not defeated, when she makes mistakes or fails. Explain that these hurdles or setbacks are a normal part of living and learning, and that she can learn or benefit from them. Let your supportive, constructive feedback and your recognition of her effort overpower any sense of failure, guilt, or shame she might be feeling, giving her renewed motivation and hope. Again, make your feedback specific ("If you throw the ball like this, it might help") and not negative and personal ("You are so clumsy," "You'll never make it").
当您的孩子犯错或失败时，需要让孩子感到这只是错误，没有被打败。 解释这些障碍或挫折是生活和学习的正常部分，她可以从中学习或从中受益。 让你的支持性，建设性的反馈以及你对她的努力的认可压倒她可能感受到的任何失败，内疚或羞耻感，给予她新的动力和希望。 再次，让你的反馈具体（“如果你这样扔球，它可能有帮助”）而不是消极和个人（“你是如此笨拙，”“你永远不会成功”）。
A sense of family self-esteem一种家庭自尊感
Your child's self-esteem initially develops within the family and thus is influenced greatly by the feelings and perceptions that a family has of itself. Some of the preceding comments apply to the family in building its self-esteem. Also, bear in mind that family pride is essential to self-esteem and can be nourished and maintained in many ways, including participation or involvement in community activities, tracing a family's heritage and ancestors, or caring for extended family members. Families fare better when members focus on each other's strengths, avoid excessive criticism and stick up for one another outside the family setting. Family members believe in and trust each other, respect their individual differences and show their affection for each other. They make time for being together, whether to share holidays, special events or just to have fun.
您孩子的自尊最初是在家庭中发展成的，因此受到家庭自身的感受和感知的极大影响。 前面的一些评论适用于家庭建立自尊。 此外，请记住，家庭自豪感对于自尊至关重要，可以通过多种方式得到滋养和维护，包括参与社区活动，延续家庭传承和祖先，或关注大家庭成员。 当成员专注于彼此的优势，避免过度批评并在家庭环境之外相互支持，家庭会更好。 家庭成员相互信任，尊重个体差异，表达对彼此的感情。 安排时间聚在一起，无论是分享假期，还是特别的纪念日只是为了享受大家庭的乐趣。