As parents, we lead by example. But it is all too easy to lead kids astray with ineffective parenting habits.

作为父母,我们以身作则。 但是因无效的养育习惯很容易让孩子们迷失方向。

Most would agree that kids need plenty of encouragement and support along with a healthy mix of independence and experiential learning. So here are five parenting mistakes to avoid to ensure your child grows up to be a successful leader.

大多数人会同意,孩子们需要大量的鼓励和支持,同时还要有良好的独立和体验式学习。 所以这里有五个育儿的错误,以避免确保你的孩子成长为一个成功的领导者。

Helicopter Parenting 直升机式育儿
The term “helicopter parent” has been around for a while. “It means being involved in a child’s life in a way that is overcontrolling, overprotecting, and overperfecting,” explains Psychologist Ann Dunnewold, “in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting.” Nobody wants to see their child get hurt, but if you shield your child from all pain, he’ll miss some important learning experiences. The adage, “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” comes into play here. If you want your child to grow strong, let him taste some of life’s bitterness along with the sweet.

“直升机父母”一词已有一段时间了。 “这意味着以过度控制,过度保护和过度完善的方式参与到孩子的生活中,”心理学家Ann Dunnewold解释道,“超出了负责任的养育方式。”没有人希望看到自己的孩子受到伤害,但是 如果你保护你的孩子免受一切痛苦,他会错过一些重要的学习经历。 格言“这不会杀了你会让你变得更强大”在这里发挥作用。 如果你想让你的孩子变得强壮,让他尝尝一些生活中的苦涩与甜蜜。

 It’s okay to be a safety net, but if you hover too much, your child won’t know how to cope when you’re not there. Researchers have found that over-protected children are less open to new ideas and more vulnerable to anxiety and self-consciousness.

 做一个安全网是可以的,但如果你徘徊得太多,当你不在时,你的孩子不会知道如何应付。 研究人员发现,过度保护的儿童对新观念的开放程度较低,更容易受到焦虑和自我意识的影响。 

 Overpraising 过度赞美

Dr. Paul Donahue warns that overpraising children can hinder growth. Too many compliments can prompt a child to believe he must always be perfect, that outside validation is a necessary part of life, and that trying new things is risky. Kids need to know it is OK to fail sometimes and that putting effort into something is worth doing even if the results are not successful.

Paul Donahue博士警告说,过度表扬的孩子会影响他们的成长。 太多的赞美可能会促使孩子相信他必须永远是完美的,接触外界是生活的必要组成部分,而尝试新事物是有风险的。 孩子们需要知道,有时候失败是可以的,即使结果不成功,将精力投入某项工作也是值得的。

Donahue recommends that parents praise effort rather than achievement. He also suggests that you word your accolades as specifically as possible. Instead of making blanket statements like “Great job,” say things like, “You really put a lot of effort into that!”

Paul Donahue博士建议父母称赞努力而不是成就。 他还建议你尽可能专门说出你的荣誉。 不要像“干得漂亮”这样的总括性陈述,而要说“你真的付出了很多努力!”

Mistaking Physical Growth for Mental Maturity 将体格发育误认为心理成熟

Children pass through a number of developmental stages as they grow. These stages can be classified as infancy (zero to two years), early childhood (three to five), childhood (six to nine), preadolescence (ten to twelve), early adolescence (thirteen to fifteen), and late adolescence (sixteen to eighteen.)

孩子们在成长过程中会经历许多发展阶段。 这些阶段可分为婴儿期(零到两年),幼儿期(三到五岁),童年期(六到九岁),青春期前(十到十二岁),青春期早期(十三到十五岁)和青春期后期(十六到十八。)

A child who is nine may look like he’s twelve. That doesn’t mean he’s equipped to watch his baby sister when you’re not home. A child who is twelve may look like she’s sixteen. That doesn’t mean she’s ready to date or handle a romantic relationship.

九岁的孩子可能看起来像十二岁。 这并不意味着当你不在家时他有能力看着他的妹妹。 十二岁的孩子可能看起来像十六岁。 这并不意味着她准备约会或处理恋爱关系。

Don’t make assumptions about what your child is mature enough to handle based on looks, behavior, grades, or intelligence. Know what to expect during each developmental stage, and don’t let outward appearances fool you.

不要根据外表,行为,年级或智力对你的孩子的成熟程度进行假设。 知道在每个发育阶段期待什么,并且不要让外表欺骗你。

Giving In 让步

Children test limits; it’s part of being a kid. If you always give in to your child’s demands when they are throwing a tantrum and you know you shouldn’t, you’re doing him a disservice.

儿童极限测试; 这是一个孩子的一部分。 如果孩子在发脾气的时候你总是屈服于孩子的要求,而你知道你不应该这样做,那么这就是在害他。

Battling a persistent kid can be uncomfortable. Set your limits, and stick to them. If you don’t, you may unwittingly teach your child that adults are soft-willed and kids can always get whatever they want. Model good leadership by taking your parental role seriously. Your child, in turn, will become a good leader by watching you.

与一个倔强的孩子作斗争可能会感到不舒服。 设定你的极限,并坚持下去。 如果你不这样做,你可能会不知不觉地教你的孩子成年人是否软弱,孩子们可以随时得到他们想要的东西。 通过认真对待父母的角色来塑造良好的领导力。 反过来,你的孩子将通过关注你成为一名好领导。

Acting without Integrity 不诚信做事

Do you ever swear in traffic? Tell lies to avoid a confrontation? Make a promise that you fail to keep? Act differently when no one else is around besides your child?

你有没有在驾车行驶时发誓? 说谎以避免冲突? 让你无法遵守诺言? 当你的孩子以外没有其他人时,采取不同的行动?

What you do and say influences your child’s perception of himself. If you act without integrity, your child will internalize this behavior as his own. A leader without character is a poor leader, indeed.

你的言行会影响你的孩子对自己的看法。 如果你的行为没有诚信,你的孩子会将这种行为内化为他自己的行为。 没有品格的领导者的确是一个失败的领导者。

Parenting isn’t easy and no parent is perfect. But parents should try to avoid these common parenting mistakes to ensure children learn the skills they’ll need to become leaders and to be successful adults.

育儿不容易,没有父母是完美的。 但家长应该尽量避免这些常见的育儿错误,以确保孩子们学习成为领导者和成功人士的本领。

 

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在最近洛杉矶联合学区特殊教育教师的一次谈话中,儿童发展教授 Maryanne Wolf 敦促教育工作者大声说出阅读障碍这个词。

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单词 “place" 有超过10种不同的英语用法! 这里有4个例子:

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Dad’s Hands


Dad's hands were king-size and strong.

With his hands, he built our home and fixed all the broken things.