In today’s social environment, particularly surrounding the #MeToo movement, there is much talk about respect for women and for boundaries when it comes to social, professional, and dating relationships and interactions.
在今天的社会环境，特别是周边的 #MeToo 运动，当涉及到社会化，专业化和约会的关系时，很多人谈论尊重女性和界限。
Since all adults start off as kids, as parents we should be questioning what we are doing to ensure our children are being raised in a manner that teaches respect for others.
When it comes to our sons, this translates into training our boys to grow up to be gentlemen and to learn the respect that this lifestyle entails. Here are some intentional actions parents can take to teach their sons to be gentlemen and practical ways I’ve incorporated these into raising my son.
Shaking Hands 真诚握手
This may seem like a minor thing to worry about, but training your sons to have a firm handshake when greeting someone teaches them to have respect for others and confidence in themselves. This includes making direct eye contact and even throwing in a smile for good measure!
For my son, we’ve begun teaching this by having him go up to his coaches after a game or practice and shake their hands and tell them thank you. We hope to have this habit spread to teachers next and then ultimately to any adult they meet.
对于我的儿子，我们已经开始通过让他在比赛或练习后和他的教练握手表示非常感谢。 我们希望将这种习惯传播给老Practicing Polite Manners 绅士礼仪
The power of manners often goes highly underestimated. A “please” and “thank you” spoken in kindness go much farther than the “now” and “owe me” mentality that seems prevalent in many kids today. Teaching these basic manners as a habit in young boys will establish a platform of respect as they grow into adults.
礼仪的力量往往被高估。 礼貌地说出的“请”和“谢谢”比今天许多孩子似乎流行的“now”和“owe me”心态相差甚远。 将这些基本礼仪教导小男孩成为日后的习惯为他们成年后建立一个尊重的平台。
My son knows that he will not get what he’s asking for without a “please” and that his response should always be “Yes, Ma’am” or “Yes, Sir” when responding to us or another adult. Although there are times when he forgets or becomes lazy in this, as a general rule this is now a habit for him. He also knows in those times he forgets, he can expect a raised eyebrow and “the look” until he says it.
我的儿子知道，如果他没有说“请”，他就不会得到他要求的东西，而他回应我们或其他成年人时，应始终是“是，女士”或“是的，先生”。 虽然有时候他会忘记或者变得懒惰，但作为一般规则，现在他已经习惯了。 他也知道在哪些时候他忘记了，他会看着我的眉毛和“神色”，直到说出来。
Opening and Holding Doors 扶门等候
While a girl may be more than capable of opening a door herself, a gentleman will open her door as a sign of courtesy. It creates a heart of service in your son by making the statement that he is there to help and to show kindness to her by holding or opening the door. This doesn’t just apply to girls—a gentleman should hold the door for anyone passing by.
虽然女孩有能力自己开门，但一位绅士为她打开门是礼貌的标志。 通过他在那里帮助握住或打开门向她表示友善，从而为你的儿子创造了一个帮助别人的心。 这不仅适用于女孩 - 一个绅士应该为经过的任何人扶门。
In our family, we have the practice of our son opening the car door for me and his sisters. This naturally progressed into him now instinctively opening the doors out in public for us and even continuing to hold it until everyone behind us have passed through. Once he is old enough, we will also teach him that he must walk up to the door to pick up a date and walk her to the door after. She deserves to be shown much more respect than a honked horn!
在我们的家庭中，我们有我们的儿子为我和他的姐妹打开车门的做法。 这自然而然地成了他习惯，现在他自然地在公开场合为我们开门，甚至坚持一直扶着门，直到我们身后的每个人都通过了。 等他足够大了，我们还会教给他，如果约会，他必须走下车步行到门口去接她。 她值得被尊重！而不是坐在车里直接按喇叭。
Beyond just the benefit of chores for kids, teaching your son to look for opportunities to help others every single day is a way to help him learn to look outside of himself. This teaches him that the world does not revolve around him, and that when someone in his path needs help, it is up to him to step up.
I’ve instructed my son that he should look around school every day for someone who needs an act of kindness. Whether it’s someone sitting alone, someone dropping books, or someone looking unusually sad, he should always be cognizant of those around him. Additionally, around the neighborhood, actions such as shoveling snow or raking leaves for an older neighbor can be a small act that goes a long way in making a big difference in someone’s day.
我已经指示我的儿子，他应该每天环顾学校，为有需要的人提供善意的帮助。 无论是单独坐着，有人在放书，还是有人看起来特别难过，他总是应该认识周围的人。 此外，在周边地区，诸如铲雪或为老年邻居耙叶等行为可能是一个很小的行为，但对于他今后的日子会产生很大的影响。
Offering His Seat 谦让座位
This one is quite simple. A boy should offer up his seat to a girl, an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone who obviously looks like they would need a seat more than him. This is basic courtesy and is another way to demonstrate concern for others.
这是很简单的道理， 男孩应该为女孩，老年人，孕妇或显然看起来像他们需要座位的人提供座位。 这是基本的礼貌，是另一种表达对他人关心的方式。
There have only been a few times where my son has had a chance to do this, but school, sporting events, or even benches in a public setting always have the potential to present this opportunity.
Defending and Respecting Girls 尊重和保护女孩
Around this topic, we tend to think about knights in shining armor valiantly coming to the rescue of a damsel in distress. While that specific scenario is antiquated, boys coming to the defense of girls starts with their own individual acts of respect. Obviously, there definitely exists those situations where a gentleman would need to physically or verbally come to the defense of a lady. However, demonstrating respectful speech, averting eyes when something is inappropriate, being mindful of spatial boundaries, and always asking before assuming are practical ways that boys can learn that respect for girls is not optional.
围绕这个话题，我们倾向于想到骑士穿着闪闪发光的盔甲勇敢地来拯救遇到困难的少女。 虽然这种特定的情况已经过时，但是男孩们保护女孩的行为可以从尊重女孩开始。 显然，肯定存在那些绅士需要用身体或语言来保护女孩的情况。 然而，用尊重的言语，避免在不适当的时候注视对方眼睛，注意保持距离. 在假设之前总是先询问是否需要帮助，这也是男孩需要学习的尊重女孩的方式。
Since my little gentleman is still young, we’ve not broached too much of this yet; but he has learned to help watch out for his sisters, to accommodate and understand that girls often want to play differently than boys, to never put his hands on a girl (in his young mind, this only translates to playing games together), and to look away from inappropriate commercials or displays at the mall.
While there are many family dynamics influencing ways for a son to demonstrate chivalrous and respectful behavior, setting the standard for lifestyles reflective of a gentleman is one way that we can raise a generation of truly honorable men. As parents know, our behavior is mimicked in our children. As the old adage goes, “Values are caught not taught.” If we want to raise daughters who will not settle for anything less than being treated honorably and sons who instinctively and without hesitation respect women, then we must model this in our own relationships and patterns of behavior and begin forming these habits now when they are still young.
有许多家庭用自身的行动来影响他们的儿子学会彬彬有礼和尊重，用绅士的标准来培养一代真正值得我们骄傲的人品。 正如父母知道的，我们的行为在我们的孩子中被模仿。 就像古老的谚语所说的那样，“价值观不是言传而是身教”。如果我们想要抚养不会受到任何不满于受到尊重的女儿，和本能地，毫不犹豫地尊重女性的儿子，那么我们就必须在我们自己的家庭中以身作则成为楷模，并在他们还年幼时开始就要养成这些习惯。